- I hope Apple puts a functioning battery in their new iPhone. Shit.
- I instantly lose respect for married men who refuse to wear their wedding bands. What’s your excuse? “It looks bad.” THEN WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THAT ONE? “I can’t wear it at work.” What do you do for a living? Feed sharks? Put it back on when you’re done. Asshole.
- I need my BMX bike back. Need.
- My children are going to speak at least seven languages each.
- And play at least three instruments. No excuses.
- Of their own choosing, though, since I’m liberal and progressive and shit.
- Speaking of liberals and progressives, GOOD ON YOU, OBAMA. About damn time you asserted your stance on marriage equality.
- I wonder how long it’ll take for Fox News to call him a gay muslim for what he said in that interview.
- If I don’t maintain a 4.33 GPA, I’m deleting my blog.
- I’m never deleting my blog, thus I will maintain a 4.33 GPA.
- That second venti was definitely a poorly planned decision.
- Why did I just down a bottle of Poland Spring?
- I must have the bladder of Zeus.
- Nvm. Stairs. Fuck.
Hope you guys are enjoying your nights.